She sits across the table from me and her tears well up when I compliment her on a job well done. It takes me a moment to recognize where her tears are coming from; for a moment I think built-up stress is releasing, but then, after she says a few words, I recognize the tears for what they are. She has judged herself, and come up short. I recognize this demon and call it by name, wanting more than anything to cast it out of her. We laugh when I offer to burn a smudge stick, but the yearning is real. I want her to be free of this lying demon of self-annihilation, because I crave freedom for myself as well. Her tears are mine.
The voices are loud and brittle in our heads. “You didn’t do your best.” “You let them down.” “You should have. . .” “You aren’t enough.” The only way to contradict them is to ignore them. Or speak truth to their lies.
The walk through this world is simultaneously brutal and beautiful. I notice this daily, but nowhere is it more poignant than in the heart of a friend. I wish for her/me the grace of self-forgiveness, of self-love, of self-acceptance. I wish for the grace to see myself through the eyes of the Beloved. Truth is, I’m seeking to vanquish the lies in my own life, and to walk through the doorway into the sweet truth I inherit as one of the Beloved’s beloved.
How can we live into the truth and face the demons? Daily connection to the Divine, the Beloved, the power of Love that spun the stars into being. Clear, intentional eyesight to recognize the liar when he slips through the door and gets in my face. Naming and crushing the snake as it whispers the lie. Holy warfare. Claiming my own identity as I’m spun into being, inhabiting who I’m meant to be in this world.
Wishing freedom from the lies, a life lived in the truth, for you today, dear heart.